How to Deal With Everyone Else's Bullshit: Stress-Busting Tips to Cope With Modern Life
It's not the stress, it's how you deal with it that matters.
Does it feel like you’re drowning in everyone else's drama and nonsense?
Noise, chaos, and relentless demands.
Incessant chatter on social media.
Work pressures.
Everyone’s emotional baggage that they try to dump on your doorstep.
Let’s dive into a few stress-busting tips that will help you deal with the bullshit—so you can focus on what truly matters and live your best life.
Don’t worry. We got this.
Let’s look at a few ways to reduce cortisol and get your mojo back.
Play With These
Consider approaching life with a playful attitude.
Having fun is the real technique, so if you approach all these as ways to play with the universe, you’ll switch from stressed to psyched. You’re untouchable when you’re having fun and refuse to get sucked down.
1. The Container Method
This is for when someone is coming at you with their bullshit, and you don’t want it to become your problem. It might be a co-worker or family member, but it could also work for online noise, drug commercials, and political rants you didn’t ask for.
Realize the person is about to inflict you with an unwanted emotion like anger, shame, or worry.
Decide not to absorb it but still be present.
Slip into your imaginary space. Smile a little inside. (If you smile on the outside, which I do sometimes, it might drive them right over the edge! So maybe just an internal smile.)
Imagine you have a container, like an old mayonnaise jar or small box.
Open the lid.
Let the person vent their bullshit and watch it spiral into the container.
Close the lid and toss the container over your shoulder.
Or punt it into the distance.
Or light it on fire and turn your back, walking away from it as it explodes into a dazzling ball of flame.
Because their emotional problem doesn’t have to be your emotional problem.
2. Feel the Feels and Then Move On
Some things are going to hit you, and there’s no way around it. That’s life on this planet.
But you don’t need to exist with a whole bunch of built-up stress that never goes away. Process it and move on.
“Ok, Tim, but how? It isn’t that easy!”
Yes, it is, if you let it be easy. LET IT BE EASY.
Stop resisting the feeling.
The trick is to feel the emotion fully, IMMEDIATELY. Let it in, let it hurt, look at it.
Then, let it go.
Think of it like a wave that rises, splashes, and then recedes.
Get triggered.
Then, let yourself get untriggered.
Don’t hang onto it for dear life. Let go of it for dear life.
Emotions can be like a river. We don’t have to hang onto them and tuck them into our dark corners so that we can pull them out at bedtime and lie there awake and suffering.
3. Dance it Out
Do you believe in the power of dance?
If you can, give yourself a five-minute solo dance party. Put on some headphones and bust a groove. Shake your butt and wiggle your hips. Clap. Jump around.
Let the dogs out!
I promise you, this will dissolve a ton of stress.
Bonus points for dancing with anyone or anything around you. Grab your SO, get your dog in there, or taunt your cat as it watches you with suspicion.
4. Use Exercise as Play
Have you ever been around a wound-up toddler and noticed that roughhousing and play can get them back in a good mood? A game of tag, hide-and-seek, or a good little ticklefest and some wrestling on the living room floor?
This works on adults, too. But most of us are too straight-laced for a tickle fight. So, use some other exercises to do the same thing.
Walking in nature is great. Lifting something heavy can get it done. Work your body and take your mind off of whatever silly modern thing that has you all wound up.
Enjoy your body and be in it all the way. Feel the muscles move, feel the clothes against your skin. You can do this any time, but do it, especially during exercise.
Be present. Smile and take a big breath.
For best results, put away your phone. You don’t need the artificial light and all those hits to the brain's pleasure center right now. This is a good time to take a break from that and focus on the physical. Get back in your body and out of your head.
5. Laugh
Sometimes, you gotta laugh. Because if you don’t, you’ll cry.
My favorite way to laugh is memes. A great source of those is
and awesome Meme Drops like this one.But if you find yourself meme-free, you can get some laughs from one of these other places, too:
Watch a comedy - The Hangover, Ace Ventura, Jaws, or Silence of the Lambs.
Listen to a funny podcast.
Plastic Wrap Doorway Prank - Stretch some plastic wrap across a doorway at face level so that someone with a sense of humor will walk through and wait nearby. (Don’t do this! But if you do, make sure you get a video like this one.)
6. Create a String Wall
This is the ultimate stress-busting tip. All the greatest movie psychos have used it to channel their manic energy and harness it to reach their goals. It’s a tried-and-true method taught in every secret mastermind class.
How to do it:
Find a large open space on a secret wall and put up a corkboard
Pin up all of the photos and news articles that have been driving your mania
Use colored string to connect them in ways that seem to mean something to you
Avoid inviting law enforcement into your home so they don’t find it and, for some reason, become suspicious.
What are your favorite ways to reduce stress? Let me know in the comments!
Nice one Tim! I see #2 as being very close to the Stoic discipline of assent. We all get hit by impressions that cause an initial emotional reaction. However, we can then rationally decide whether to assent to that impression and continue with it, or not.
The string wall had me laughing and laughing is my main way to deal with stress. At the end of the day, is this little thing the biggest deal in this cosmic universe? Hell no. And yes, that then becomes funny to me.
Exercise and getting outside is another great way to clear the mind and to do something that has a goal attached to it.
Long walks with the dogs or fly fishing in my kayak or out in the middle of the river with my waders are the go-to moves.