How timely, for this to arrive in my inbox today. After losing 60 pounds, it’s starting to creep back because I’m doing secret eating, again . You know if you don’t see me it doesn’t count. If I eat walking, it doesn’t count. Doing the same thing with over exercising. I care for my mom so they sleep deprivation on top of it. But, today is my first visit with a new therapist. First time in a decade or two.
I’m going to look for a nutritionist as well, thanks to your prod. I think I know everything already, but I don’t and more to the point, I don’t listen to me. I know it’s emotional eating. I know the first one is the trigger. I’m clean & sober 34 years. I know. Oy. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for your comment! It really helps to have someone to talk to. A therapist, nutritionist or coach can help you focus on what's important for you.
Tim, your vulnerability and honesty in sharing your story are incredibly powerful. Your line, ‘I was either going to get help or cash in my chips and leave the casino,’ speaks volumes about the depth of your struggle. This piece is a raw, yet hopeful reminder that recovery is possible, and you’re providing a crucial voice for men battling in silence. A truly impactful read.
Thank you for reading and commenting, Jon. I do want to let guys who are silently struggling know that it isn’t just them, they aren’t a freak. When you’re in a spot like that it’s hard to see that there IS a way through.
This is profound, Tim. I completely see why you started down this path, and how that delicious, yet lethal, combination of fat and sugar and salt held on so tightly. Thank goodness you took a different direction, and now offer so much help to the rest of us who are on similar journeys. Keep up the great work!
Six years ago, I had a gall bladder attack. Of course, they wanted to take it out, but I said no. I changed my diet and have been fine ever since, although within the last two years, I've been complacent and allowing myself "bites" here and there, which add up! I'm 18 pounds heavier than I want to be, but am pulling myself back on track as I'm now five pounds down from a month ago. It's not always easy - as an example, I really didn't feel like quinoa, garbanzo beans, fresh veggies and chicken breast for lunch - but that's what I'm having!
That’s great that you kept your gall bladder. I understand that it’s one of the most common surgeries to have in the US. That’s the thing, it’s not about the weight. Weight gain is a symptom of inflammation.
Thanks Tim for being so raw in sharing your journey. Very brave and brave to continue on days when it (still) can be a struggle. The key is if ‘slips’ happen that we don’t beat ourselves up and let it derail us. And chasing our mindset to ‘I choose not to have that’ vs ‘I can’t have that’ has helped me.
You're right, it's about how we frame it. That is exactly how I see it now. I can choose what foods to eat. Sometimes, my choice is that burger and fries from a fast food joint.
Exactly! Sometimes it’s that burger and fries and we choose to have it, not beat ourselves up and move on- get it out of our system I think so it doesn’t lead down that slippery slope!
I know I’m not alone in having a trigger even that brings all the bad stuff into front position. What I learned afterwards is how much certain foods could make me even more emotionally unstable.
Once a week reward meal? That’s totally a part of my intentional eating plan for myself.
Thank you for such an open and honest post. You should be proud for the changes you have made and for sharing so much info with us. It makes me sad that I didn't try to help my late husband in a more proactive way. I just assumed he didn't want to try, not that it was a true addiction. I struggle also with losing 20ish lbs, but am determined to do it the right way! Thank you!
Thanks for your support, it means a lot to get feedback like this. I believe that a good way to work through our dark parts is to shed some light on them. It helps me, anyway.
Incredibly honest and relatable story of the binge eating issue from a man’s perspective! I don’t know if I’ve ever read a man’s experience. Thanks so much for sharing this !
Thanks for this Tim. I’m ashamed to say that it never entered my cranium that men can suffer with eating disorders too. I’ve never heard it talked about - I appreciate you shedding light on this.
It’s not your fault you’ve never considered it. We are all a victim of society programming. I think it’s helpful to notice that everyone has struggles we can’t see.
I remember reading this one last year and it made quite the impact. Before this, you're right, I always thought eating disorders were more women than men. That may be true but you've definitely shed light via your journey.
I have met a couple guys who had anorexia, and one with bulimia. Those were guys with a diagnosis. And I’ve talked to lots of men with binge eating struggles. Then there are guys who do extreme food restriction or almost have phobias about certain foods.
But most guys would rather die than talk about it. So it’s hard to figure out how widespread it is. I would guess the numbers are much, much higher than anyone would believe.
I think I remember your post from way back. All I can say is reading this brought me chills as it reminds me of those awful caregiving burnout days when I ate myself to 300 lbs and I am sure I was eating 4K+ calories a day. Thanks so much for sharing this once again as it helps others in this position feel seen, heard, and validated that their struggles are real.
How timely, for this to arrive in my inbox today. After losing 60 pounds, it’s starting to creep back because I’m doing secret eating, again . You know if you don’t see me it doesn’t count. If I eat walking, it doesn’t count. Doing the same thing with over exercising. I care for my mom so they sleep deprivation on top of it. But, today is my first visit with a new therapist. First time in a decade or two.
I’m going to look for a nutritionist as well, thanks to your prod. I think I know everything already, but I don’t and more to the point, I don’t listen to me. I know it’s emotional eating. I know the first one is the trigger. I’m clean & sober 34 years. I know. Oy. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for your comment! It really helps to have someone to talk to. A therapist, nutritionist or coach can help you focus on what's important for you.
Tim, your vulnerability and honesty in sharing your story are incredibly powerful. Your line, ‘I was either going to get help or cash in my chips and leave the casino,’ speaks volumes about the depth of your struggle. This piece is a raw, yet hopeful reminder that recovery is possible, and you’re providing a crucial voice for men battling in silence. A truly impactful read.
Thank you for reading and commenting, Jon. I do want to let guys who are silently struggling know that it isn’t just them, they aren’t a freak. When you’re in a spot like that it’s hard to see that there IS a way through.
This is profound, Tim. I completely see why you started down this path, and how that delicious, yet lethal, combination of fat and sugar and salt held on so tightly. Thank goodness you took a different direction, and now offer so much help to the rest of us who are on similar journeys. Keep up the great work!
Six years ago, I had a gall bladder attack. Of course, they wanted to take it out, but I said no. I changed my diet and have been fine ever since, although within the last two years, I've been complacent and allowing myself "bites" here and there, which add up! I'm 18 pounds heavier than I want to be, but am pulling myself back on track as I'm now five pounds down from a month ago. It's not always easy - as an example, I really didn't feel like quinoa, garbanzo beans, fresh veggies and chicken breast for lunch - but that's what I'm having!
That’s great that you kept your gall bladder. I understand that it’s one of the most common surgeries to have in the US. That’s the thing, it’s not about the weight. Weight gain is a symptom of inflammation.
Thanks Tim for being so raw in sharing your journey. Very brave and brave to continue on days when it (still) can be a struggle. The key is if ‘slips’ happen that we don’t beat ourselves up and let it derail us. And chasing our mindset to ‘I choose not to have that’ vs ‘I can’t have that’ has helped me.
You're right, it's about how we frame it. That is exactly how I see it now. I can choose what foods to eat. Sometimes, my choice is that burger and fries from a fast food joint.
Exactly! Sometimes it’s that burger and fries and we choose to have it, not beat ourselves up and move on- get it out of our system I think so it doesn’t lead down that slippery slope!
Yes. It’s like an electrical charge that will build and build the more we beat ourselves up, until we get zapped.
Super interesting to read how it started for you.
The investigation into the crime scene is eye-opening and I take the liberty to use the term SAD (never heard the term before) in future publications.
I allow myself once a week to commit crime to my body.
It’s better to stay away from processed foods altogether, but I like the damage containment approach
I know I’m not alone in having a trigger even that brings all the bad stuff into front position. What I learned afterwards is how much certain foods could make me even more emotionally unstable.
Once a week reward meal? That’s totally a part of my intentional eating plan for myself.
Let’s meet for a cheat meal. Burger and fries?
Sure! I might sub in a gluten free bun
Let’s do this 😉
Thank you for such an open and honest post. You should be proud for the changes you have made and for sharing so much info with us. It makes me sad that I didn't try to help my late husband in a more proactive way. I just assumed he didn't want to try, not that it was a true addiction. I struggle also with losing 20ish lbs, but am determined to do it the right way! Thank you!
Thanks for your support, it means a lot to get feedback like this. I believe that a good way to work through our dark parts is to shed some light on them. It helps me, anyway.
Wow, that's an intense struggle Tim! Thanks for sharing.
Thanks! It’s always a bit rough putting stuff like this out there but I think it’s valuable for others to know about
Yeah, I'm very guarded about what I share, so I'm sure it's not easy. But I agree it's very valuable insight!
Incredibly honest and relatable story of the binge eating issue from a man’s perspective! I don’t know if I’ve ever read a man’s experience. Thanks so much for sharing this !
That’s why I wrote it, because men aren’t sharing their struggle. They just hide it
Thanks for this Tim. I’m ashamed to say that it never entered my cranium that men can suffer with eating disorders too. I’ve never heard it talked about - I appreciate you shedding light on this.
It’s not your fault you’ve never considered it. We are all a victim of society programming. I think it’s helpful to notice that everyone has struggles we can’t see.
I remember reading this one last year and it made quite the impact. Before this, you're right, I always thought eating disorders were more women than men. That may be true but you've definitely shed light via your journey.
I have met a couple guys who had anorexia, and one with bulimia. Those were guys with a diagnosis. And I’ve talked to lots of men with binge eating struggles. Then there are guys who do extreme food restriction or almost have phobias about certain foods.
But most guys would rather die than talk about it. So it’s hard to figure out how widespread it is. I would guess the numbers are much, much higher than anyone would believe.
I bet you're 100% right about that. It's sad!
I think I remember your post from way back. All I can say is reading this brought me chills as it reminds me of those awful caregiving burnout days when I ate myself to 300 lbs and I am sure I was eating 4K+ calories a day. Thanks so much for sharing this once again as it helps others in this position feel seen, heard, and validated that their struggles are real.
Thanks, I’m glad for your support. I’m even more glad that we are both in a better place with food now!
Yes !!
Incredible work to achieve a healthy lifestyle!
Thank you. It does take work.
This is what semaglutide (Ozempic et. al.) does for you. It gets rid of the cravings — and the cravings are stronger than you are.