This Kettlebell Workout is For Busy People Who Don't Want to Waste Time at the Gym
30 minutes is all you need to get ripped
Do you find gyms intimidating, inconvenient, or expensive? What if you don’t have endless hours to waste doing hard exercises and commuting to the gym? The Simple and Sinister workout might be your ticket to fitness.
This is my book review of Kettlebell Simple and Sinister by Pavel Tsatsouline. I tested the program and documented it for you. I’m not a weightlifter, so here’s what happened when a normal guy like me read his book and followed the plan.
The Simple and Sinister program isn’t one of those soft kettlebell routines found on YouTube with sexy models doing cardio exercises while holding a tiny little weight. This is no walk in the park wearing legwarmers.
“The kettlebell is an ancient Russian weapon against weakness.”― Pavel Tsatsouline
It’s based on what Pavel Tsatsouline used as a former Soviet Special Forces physical training instructor. He’s known as a Subject Matter Expert to the US Marine Corps, the Secret Service, and Navy SEALs.
He promises better performance in weightlifting, as well as huge gains in endurance for all sports. Pavel Tsatsouline’s workouts in this book are a general physical upgrade.
“The kettlebell swing is known to improve the deadlift of elite powerlifters — and the running times of high-level endurance runners.” — Pavel Tsatsouline
Simple and Sinister is anti-fragility training. Follow his advice, and you definitely won’t be a fragile flower. It helps build muscle and lose fat. It gives you a health boost.
You can get a solid iron kettlebell core into your own body.
Disclaimer: This is a review of the Simple and Sinister book and fitness plan based on my experiences of implementing the workouts. It is not intended to replace the advice of certified fitness instructors. Nor will it be a good substitute for reading the book yourself.
Kettlebell Simple and Sinister, by Pavel Tsatsouline
This book isn’t that long—120 pages. Still, I found so much information that I needed to read some sections a few times and watch YouTube videos.
He briefly explains the origins of kettlebells and Russian strength training. You find out that they’ve been in use for over 300 years, and started out as a cannonball with a handle welded onto it. Kettlebells were the main tool of the Russian strongman.
Kettlebells are compact, inexpensive, virtually indestructible, and can be used anywhere.” — Pavel Tsatsouline
Pavel explains that it’s a program to prepare you for any physical situation you might find yourself in, including moving furniture and getting caught in a brawl. He also claims you can replace an entire gym with a couple of kettlebells and the right workout.
Why Should You Pick Kettlebells?
A big factor is a small investment in time and money for huge returns. You only need to put in 30 minutes per workout a few days a week to make good progress.
There’s no need to go to a gym. You can learn the basics without a personal trainer if you can read and watch videos.
My personal reasons for starting this training:
I want to build endurance and core strength.
The closest gym is almost an hour's commute.
I want something simple and straightforward.
I don’t have enough money (or room) for an entire gym setup.
I didn’t want to do long workouts.
Starting Kettlebell Sizes
The book has some starting weight recommendations for beginners to his Simple and Sinister program.
Average woman — 18, 26, or 35 lbs kettlebell
Strong woman — 26, 35, or 44 lbs
Average man — 35 or 53 lbs kettlebell
Strong man — 53 or 70 lbs
“If you are wondering what strong is, you are probably not there yet.” — Pavel Tsatsouline
Even though I could handle the 35-pound weight, I decided to start with the 20-pound kettlebell for the first two weeks to make sure I had good form. I wanted to begin properly without a lot of body mechanics mistakes.
Start Safe
The book advises getting a doctor’s advice before starting the training. He also tells you to train barefoot or with flat shoes that won’t squeeze your toes.
Use chalk to protect your hands, and make sure your kettlebells have smooth handles.
“Do not let me catch you wearing those sissy gym gloves!” — Pavel Tsatsouline
And finally, he advises you to be aware of your surroundings to avoid dropping that kettlebell on anything breakable, like the coffee table or a poodle.
Simple and Sinister Warm-Up
Do these three drills in a set of three circuits before your main workout.
Prying goblet squats — squats holding the kettlebell in both hands, then bracing your elbows against your knees at the bottom of a flat-footed squat. Pry your knees apart with your elbows by moving side to side in a rocking motion.
Glute bridge — lie on your back and go into a yoga bridge pose while holding a shoe, rolled towel, or yoga block between your knees. The goal is not to hold this position but to achieve maximum pelvis lift.
Halos — holding a light kettlebell upside down, slowly circle the weight around your head with both hands- five circles in each direction, stopping at the chest on each pass.
Simple and Sinister Swings
The main workout is to do 100 swings, in sets of 5 to 10 reps.
Depending on your weight and skill level, you might be doing two-handed swings or 50 left-handed and 50 right-handed swings. The swings should be explosive, with an exhalation on the way up and inhaling as the kettlebell comes back down.
Pavel advises starting with two-handed swings and practicing your form until you have it right. Then, move on to one-handed.
Hike the bell back towards you and swing it between your legs
Drive with your hips to swing the kettlebell up
Arms stay straight and loose, with a firm hand grip
The swing should only go as high as your shoulders
Breathe out forcefully on the swing-up
Breathe in on the way down
He puts emphasis on making each swing powerful and at full force. If you are getting too tired to go full force, take a break and let your breathing back down to the “I’m able to hold a conversation” level.
Breathe deeply and evenly between sets until you are ready to begin again.
Simple and Sinister Get-up
Get-ups involve lying on your back while holding a kettlebell or other weight straight above you with one arm. Then you get to your feet. After standing up, you work your way down to flat on your back again. Your arm and the weight must stay pointed straight at the sky for the entire movement.
Pavel suggests starting with a very light object and practicing the movements to get comfortable with them before attempting any weight.
Lie on your back, right hand holding the weight straight up, right leg bent, and foot planted around 45 degrees to the right
push with your right leg and turn with your left elbow down
keep that right arm straight up as you go from a sitting position to standing
Reverse the motions until you are flat on your back. Keep that weight straight above you the whole time with your arm extended.
This is a hard movement to perfect. I started with a 10-pound dumbbell because I was nowhere near ready to hold my 35-pound kettlebell while I attempted this!
If this exercise doesn’t sound like it will make you tougher than nails from hell, watch this demonstration:
After The Work, Stretches
There are two stretches used after your workout.
90/90 Stretch — sitting on the floor on your left hip, place your left leg in front of you bent at a 90-degree angle. Your right leg is placed at a right angle to your side. Then lean forward into the stretch. Reverse leg positions to place your right leg flat at a right angle in front of you and left leg at a right handle on the floor to your left, bend forward to stretch.
QL Straddle — Sit in a straddle position with legs spread wide. Reach your right arm overhead, then lean and reach with your right hand toward your left foot. The left arm is straight forward on the floor in front. Breathe deeply and melt into the stretch. Repeat on the opposite side.
The Simple And Sinister Goal Line
Your goal in this plan is to be able to complete the following number of swings and get-ups with the following weights:
Simple: 100 one-armed swings in sets of 10 in five minutes, with a 52 lb bell for women and 70 lbs for men
Simple: Five get-ups per arm in sets of one in 10 minutes after the swings, with 35lbs for women and 70 lbs for men
Getting fit enough to pull this challenge off is going to take some work! But once you make it, there’s another, more sinister level to try for:
Sinister: 100 one-armed swings in sets of 10 in five minutes, with a 70 lb bell for women and 106 lbs for men
Sinister: Five get-ups per arm in sets of one in 10 minutes after the swings, with 53lbs for women and 106 lbs for men
Free App to Keep Track
You can find it here: Sinister Kettlebell app. It has a quick description with a video of each exercise for a great little reference if you forget the exact movements.
“In between sets, it’s not a rest for me. It’s a rest for the weights.” — unknown
My Results From the First 6 Weeks Were Fantastic
I trained 3 times a week for 30 minutes. That got me from 20 lbs on the get-up to 35 lbs. and to 100 swings one handed with the 35 lb kettlebell. I’m almost ready to bump up to the next size.
I dropped 6 lbs of weight (a pound a week) without changing my eating habits and built muscle at the same time. I can really notice the difference in my core, back, and hips. I’m tougher, stronger and I’ve got more gas in the tank. After only six weeks, I feel like a real athlete.
The Turkish Get-up targets everything, including your soul.
Takeaways from Pavel Tsatsouline’s book:
Kettlebells can work the whole body with a few exercises
Simple and Sinister is a great long-term fitness plan
Thirty minutes a day is going to make you strong like an ox!
If you want to learn from one of the masters, you can’t go wrong with Pavel Tsatsouline’s Kettlebell Simple and Sinister. It seems like you really can replace an entire gym with a couple of kettlebells.
To learn more about this weapon against weakness, find the book on Amazon here, or at the School of Strength, StrongFirst. They mix Russian and Western sports science to teach athletes and certify instructors worldwide.
I kind of like the idea of full body workout without stepping foot in a gym. I might look for some super beginner videos though lol. I'm great at yoga but have never touched a kettlebell.
How are you liking the fitness plan so far?