The One Where I'm Grateful For Bleach
And 7 other things
Photo by Kees Streefkerk on Unsplash
Life ebbs and flows, just like these waves.
The last few days have been a slow spot for me. The wave retreated back into the sea, leaving me standing on the sand, looking around. And it felt like forever before it came back toward the shore.
My vehicle broke down, and it’s in the shop. I live in the middle of buttfrak nowhere — it’s a half-hour drive at top speed to reach pretty much anything. So here I am, at home with the cat, doing home things.
I was at loose ends. Even though there are plenty of home things to do. So, while I did my home things, like improving the cosmetic appearance of a bedroom ceiling, I prepped for the return of the wave.
There’s a trick to waves that ocean people know. You have to be ready for them. I don’t want to be that hapless Failarmy schlub who’s standing there all proud and dumb, smiling like a golden retriever, oblivious to the huge wave of wetness approaching at high speed, which then smashes them face-first into the sand and takes their breath away.
I’m prepping for the return of the wave. I’m turning around and facing back to the sea so that when the energy comes toward me, I can jump up and let the wave carry me. I am enjoying life. This is Tim’s Grateful Eight Episode 4.
1. Bleach
A few years back, we had a leak in our ceiling. I fixed the roof. No big deal.
But ever since then, we’ve had an ugly brown stain on the ceiling in the guest bedroom. I put off dealing with it because I thought I had to cut the board out and replace it.
I found out that bleach could save the day. Thanks again, YouTube.
I mixed up one part of bleach with three parts of water and sprayed it on the ugly brown patches, then let it dry and reapplied the mixture a couple of times over the last day. The stain is gone.
So happy to not have to cut a hole in the ceiling.
2. Extended Vehicle Warranties
I thought I had wasted my money on that extended warranty when we bought our vehicle. But now, there’s something going on with the radiator or the engine, and it’s in the shop. That warranty might come in SUPER handy if it turns out to be major.
3. A Supportive Friend (or Two)
It’s good to know there are people out there who care enough to reach out and reconnect. Thank you, friends, for making my life more interesting and touching base. Especially the voice memos. Love em!
4. Book Signing For Toolbox Talk
Ryan and I are finally going to have that book signing for Toolbox Talk, and I’m super glad. You know you’ve made it as an author when you get to do a book signing.
Toolbox Talk isn’t for everyone. It has rough construction worker words. This is off-color humor and reality, as you’ve probably never seen. The world doesn’t all work in an office.
Here’s the disclaimer we put on the first page.
Disclaimer
Read this or don’t pass go. Don’t you dare skip this page!
By going past this point, you accept all blame for anything that happens for all time. You agree that Ryan Hanson and Tim Ebl are blameless (and you are full of blame) for any and all damages caused by reading this book.
These stories were crafted based on others’ experiences, flawed memories, and hearsay. Many are secondhand in nature, and a lot is just made-up nonsense.
If you think a story is about you or someone you know, it isn’t.
This book may contain curse words and adult subject matter of a lewd nature. If you don’t know what lewd means, you should look it up before you decide whether or not to proceed.
Avoid prolonged exposure to sunlight.
Breaking this seal voids your warranty.
Harmful or fatal if swallowed.
If attacked by a pack of clowns while reading this, go for the Juggler.
If that didn’t warn you off, you can find it at Amazon.com (US Link) or Amazon.ca (Canadian link.)
The book signing will be on 9-Dec-2023, from 5:00 PM to 8:00 PM, at Block Creek Mercantile, Eckville, Alberta.
5. This Sunset Last Night
6. Bacon, Eggs, Toast (Comfort Food)
The simple things in life are the best.
Maybe everyone likes at least one of these three foods. Not that long ago, I had a serious toast addiction that nearly made me double in size. These days, I usually skip the bread, but I still love a good toasted slice now and then.
It’s wonderful to enjoy the simple pleasure of eating a comfort food.
Maybe these three don’t do it for you. Have a piece/ bowl/ slice/ cup of (Insert favorite comfort food here.) Let's be grateful that we have it!
7. Gravity
Have you ever thought how much it would suck if there were no gravity? You’d grab your mug only to notice that all the coffee floated away. Your dog would poop behind a bush, and the poop wouldn’t stay put. Instead, the offering might end up anywhere!
Trees and plants wouldn’t know which way was up, so they’d grow sideways. Thermometers wouldn’t work because the mercury wouldn’t be in that little ball on the bottom.
The gravy wouldn’t stay on the poutine.
Gravity is what lets us know when it’s time to pee. The weight of your bladder pulling down toward the center of the earth gives your body the signal that it’s time to unload. It’s all fine while we’re on the ground, but astronauts don’t always know that it’s time to go until their bladders are full to the brim. This apparently resulted in a few accidents in space suits. Oops.
Let’s be grateful for gravity.
8. American Thanksgiving
Yup. I call it American Thanksgiving. That’s because we Canadians had ours first, on 9-Oct-2023.
Don’t feel bad just because you came in second. Don’t worry. Someday, you’ll make it to first place.
I hope you had a very thankful day. Did you gather with your family? Did you cook a turkey or a Tofurky, and maybe eat some pie?
Most importantly, did you find at least one thing to be thankful for? Like how you get to live just south of the greatest country on Earth, Canada?
That’s Tim’s Grateful 8 Episode 4. Let me know what you’re grateful for today!