I Have Had the Burger to Write 8 Things

1. I'm grateful for running gags and inside jokes

Tim Ebl 🇨🇦

Dec 01, 2023

A boy looks longingly at a burger, he slicks his lips, ready to eat, I have had the burger, Tim’s Grateful 8, Ubiquity — Photo/ ESB Professional/ Shutterstock

First, there is the question.

Then there is the search.

Finally, you get the answer.

“What’choo talkin’ ‘bout, Willis?” — Gary Coleman, Diff’rent Strokes

You’re the captain of your mind’s ship. You decide where that ship sails. If you don’t decide, the wind blows it around, currents take it to Timbuctoo. Your mind gets boarded by pirates.

“You don’t know my mind, Tim! I can’t get it to do stuff! It’s just all over the place. I can’t feel gratitude when all this world is pressing on me. I have a situation here.”

Yup. We all do.

Can I offer you a way to set the tone? A way to steer that ship in your head just a tiny bit?

Ask a question. Your brain loves answering questions. Pick one that leads you down a garden path instead of into a dark back alley.

Ask, “What is one good thing that happened to me this week?”

Ask, “What do I have that I love and would be sad without?” The answer could be any number of things. It could be a person that you appreciate. It could be your career, your car, legs that work.

It could be mustard. I’m not judging, I love mustard.

This is Tim’s Grateful 8 Episode 5.

1. Running Gags and Inside Jokes

Isn’t there something magical about running gags? They feed my soul.

That’s why I’m trying to create one. Would anyone like to participate? Have you had the burger lately to do anything?

It started with Kathryn Vercillo of Create Me Free.

I have had the burger.

“What’s true for me today is that I was about to say something else entirely when I noticed that in my last chat thread here what I wrote, or what it autocorrected to, was “I have had the burger lately to doodle” which is hilarious and made me laugh out loud. Of course what I had was the urge, not a burger.” — Kathryn Vercillo, Create Me Free

Create Me Free is well worth checking out:

“Welcome to Create Me Free where I share all of my deep research into and musings about the complex relationship between art and mental health. While I touch on art as therapy and the benefits of creativity, I also look at the times when creativity exacerbates mental health symptoms.” — Kathryn Vercillo, Create Me Free

2. Bird Feeders That Keep Me and the Cat Amused

Yeah, we feed birds. In return, we get to watch them fly in. The old grab-and-go. Fast food for flying.

We get a lot of blue jays. They bully all of the smaller birds. The chickadees have to sneak in when it’s safe and the big blue meanies aren't there. It’s a lot like high school.

The cat and I watch birds. It’s a thing.

3. Adam Sandler as a School Lizard

I didn’t know if I would be into watching Adam Sandler’s family-rated lizard avatar give advice to kids in a classroom, but I loved it. The voices include a lot of talent, like Bill Burr, Cecily Strong, Jason Alexander, Rob Schneider, and Jo Koy. It’s on Netflix if you’re interested.

“The last year of elementary school as seen through the eyes of a class pet. A jaded 74-year-old lizard named Leo has been stuck in the same Florida classroom for decades with his turtle terrarium-mate. When he learns that he only has one year left to live, he plans to escape to experience life on the outside, but instead gets caught up in his anxious students’ problems — such as an impossibly mean substitute teacher.” — Alex Hartsell, IMDB

4. Voice Memos

Until recently, I had never used a voice memo. I was a text-only kinda guy. But a friend sent me a couple, I tried sending them back, and now I’m a convert.

Texts are great for the small stuff. But they can be clunky and misleading for more complicated messages.

Where you don’t have time or bandwidth for a full-on phone call, but a text won’t quite cut it, voice memos are great. Thanks for getting me on to those, India!

5. Running Water and Indoor Plumbing

Without running water, you don’t have indoor plumbing. That’s bad enough in the summer. But in the winter? Oh, boy.

I grew up without it, which probably sounds crazy for a North American. Trust me. People live in Canada and the US without running water. You have no idea what a treat it is to poop indoors when it’s cold.

Outhouse in the snow, love indoor plumbing, running water is great, gratitude, Ubiquity, Tim's Grateful 8 — Photo by Sandra Grünewald on Unsplash

Picture it. Sicily, 1942. Wait. That was Golden Girls. Picture it. Alberta, Canada. An unspecified year.

You wake up at about 5:00 AM. You gotta pee really bad. You don’t have indoor plumbing.

It’s -30 Celsius outside and blowing snow.

You groan with anticipated suffering, slowly sticking one foot out of the warm, cozy covers. Yup. It sucks.

With a sigh, you try to move quickly to keep the warmth around your body. On with the socks, a sweater, a big jacket, and a toque (stocking cap for non-Canadians.) Don’t forget the flashlight. It’s dark out there!

You open the door, and a gust of shitty cold wind hits you in the face. You make a break for it and run over to the frozen, frosty outhouse.

You drop your pants. That seat is a block of ice! Finish up fast. As you stand up, the flashlight that you had put down beside the seat gets bumped and rolls toward the hole.

Nnnooooooooo! Down it goes.

Well, you aren’t getting that back.

Sprint for the house. Your hands are so cold you can barely get the door open. You make it inside and shut the door too hard. Oops. Did you wake anyone up? Quick, get back into that warm bed and thaw out!

I am so, so grateful for indoor plumbing and running water. Everyone should be.

6. That Moment Before the Sunrise

The moment before sunrise, the sun is about to come over the horizon, all is black except for a rainbow of color that presages the dawn, Tim’s Grateful 8, Ubiquity — Photo by author

Can you see that tiny speck of light on the top right? I believe that’s Jupiter.

7. A Healthy Body

I’m so grateful for my eyes that see, my ears that (mostly!) hear, my skin, healthy lungs, strong muscles, feet that can run and hold me up all day, hands that can type and hold coffee mugs and food.

Yay, body! Keep up the good work.

8. Online Courses

It’s amazing what you can learn online. If we want to get new skills like programming, take up a hobby like crochet, learn to meditate. You could even become a Certified Vinyl Siding Installer.

Is there something you want to know more about? There’s a good chance you can find it online. although, if you want to get into brain surgery, in-person training is probably better.

I’m taking a course now, and I am so grateful for the opportunity to learn new skills in my spare time, from home.

This was Tim’s Grateful 8 Episode 5. Stick with me if you want to find out about my Gratitude Experiment!