How I Stopped Binge Eating and Got My Life Back
Suprise twist: I did it by adding more food.
Have you ever been in a hopeless situation?
I was so far down the food addiction and binge eating hole that I couldn’t crawl back out on my own. I was considering suicide; I was so desperate to just make it stop.
There are times when you can’t do it on your own. For men in this society, we’ve been expected to man up, take it on the chin, and stop being a baby. So we don’t ask for help.
Guys reading this, ask if you’ve let yourself fall into this trap of being strong and handling it on your own. We humans aren’t meant to survive alone. We are a pack animal. Lean on the pack.
Instead of suicide, I reached out. Luckily, I found a nutrition coach, Carlie, and she got me started on an eating plan.
But the physical part of the equation, what food to eat, when to eat it, and how much of it, was only part of the solution. I had to get my head screwed on straight again too. And that took introspection.
Let’s talk food first, then emotions.
If you missed the first part of this story, you can find it here:
My Road to Recovery: Focus On Adding Positive Foods, Not Banning “Bad” Food
Carlee had a straightforward method that worked great for me. She didn’t tell me to eliminate anything.
Instead, she had me add certain foods into my life at certain times of the day.
It seemed crazy. My problem was that I was eating TOO MUCH. And her solution wasn’t to try to get me to stop or cut back. Instead, she added more.
What?
If you know about satiety, it makes complete sense.
I Was Eating Empty Calories Like They Were Candy (okay, so some of it was actually candy)
Sure. I had emotional issues. But at the end of the day, the physical problem was driving the bus. The carbohydrate-enriched, nutrient-free Frankenfoods I ate daily didn’t have the molecules that signal our bodies to let us know we are full. So without these chemical messengers, my gut and my subconscious mind thought I was still empty, even though I might have just eaten a 10-pack of chicken nuggets and a large fries.
That “food” doesn’t register. It’s not like eating the equivalent volume of something nourishing, like a mixed salad, scrambled eggs, almonds, steak, or even bacon.
To our bodies, empty processed carbs don’t count. It thinks we need more, because what came in so far was nutritionally empty.
I repeat: Empty, highly processed calories aren’t counted by the part of you that regulates appetite. But they still make you fat and unhealthy.
Also, junk food can give you that dopamine high and send all of those extremely rewarding signals to the brain. That’s where the addiction comes in, and why we don’t want to stop at just one potato chip.
The process to make refined white sugar, wheat flour, and cocaine is very similar. Take a natural substance and concentrate it into an unnatural food that our bodies don’t know what to do with, really.
Fix The Problem By Reversing the Day
Most of us eat the wrong foods first in the day.
I had the dumb habit of skipping breakfast and just having a coffee, or only eating some carbs. Maybe a banana or muffin. My favorite breakfast was overnight oats with fruit.
No protein and no fat to speak of. Carbohydrates.
Lunch would be something with bread, maybe some sugar. More carbohydrates, mostly.
Then, as the day progressed, I got so hungry that I was uncontrollable by the time I was on my way home, right past all of those enticing fast food joints. So I would end up eating all the wrong things for supper, and end up stuffed full.
When I woke up the next morning, I wouldn’t be hungry. I had just had a shit ton of food the evening before. I wouldn’t need anything to eat yet, so I would have coffee. And the cycle begins again.
Carlee had me flip that old way of eating on its head, and eat early instead of late.
Eat Yer Darn Breakfast! Protein and Veggies
It wasn’t just eating earlier, it was also making sure to get the right things in.
Carlee convinced me to try to eat at least 30 grams and up to 50 g of protein first thing in the morning, and a serving of veggies with it.
Then more protein for around coffee time, and more at lunch.
And more veggies and protein for supper.
No food after 7 PM, so that by breakfast time, I would be hungry enough to eat that big stack of protein.
She asked me to avoid sugar, but that was the only “don’t eat” on her list. I could do whatever else I wanted, as long as I got in all of the food on my must-eat list
It didn’t take long for this new way of eating to calm down my entire nervous system a bit. It gave me space to figure out what was going on with my body.
Fixing the food issue first let me deal with my emotional problems. When I was strung out on crap food, it was like I was high on street drugs. Always looking for a fix, willing to sell my soul (or the souls of my children) to get that fast food. And the stress of this existence was sucking my will to live. There was no way I was going to do any shadow work while I was under the influence of the fast-food devil.
Feeling the Pain Instead of Hiding From It
Tackling the emotional problems and the trigger that led to this binge-fest was simple.
But it sure wasn’t easy.
It boiled down to actually looking at and feeling the pain I was going through, instead of dodging around it with activity, distractions, and food. I had to sit with the disappointment, the anger, the guilt, and the shame. I needed to lance the boil and squeeze out all of the disgusting stuff that had been festering in there, get some spiritual Polysporin, and bandage that wound. And then do it again a few times, to make sure I got it all.
That shadow work left scars, big ones. But I got that infection outa there.
Then I worked on filling in the hole in my soul created by all of this surgery. I slathered on the hope and started going out of my way to enjoy the little things. Especially the outdoors.
It seems counterintuitive, but solving the physical dilemma was what gave me the space to work on my mental and emotional problems. And I did all of this without medication or therapy. But I did hire a couple of professionals to get my body on track.
If I had gone the traditional doctor route, I would have gotten some nice antidepressants, some blood pressure medication, and statins. And I would have never gotten to the bottom of my issues.
Maybe, on that path, I still would have committed suicide.
Everyone’s Journey is Unique
That was how I got on the road to recovery. Each person has a different road, and different circumstances led them to this point. What worked for me may not be for another.
But one thing that could help anyone is an honest look at where they are, and the intention to find a way to be healthy.
When I was at the bottom, when I was close to giving up, I decided to take responsibility for my mess. I looked for help, and then I did my best to follow instructions and pull back from the edge.
No one could do that for me. No one can do it for you, or anyone else.
It all starts with intention.
This arrived at the right time for me. I'm at my physical worst right now. I'm packing on weight at record levels, and I can only assume it's menopausal. It feels like no style of eating or exercise is working lol. I've now decided to completely switch what I eat for breakfast and see if it might help. It's difficult to get that much protein at breakfast when you're vegetarian and don't eat eggs. But I discovered a really good tofu scramble recipe and load it up with veggies from my garden and add cheese. Fingers crossed something will work!!
Protein, fat, and fiber are what make you feel full, plus they burn at different rates giving you more sustained energy. That way you are not fighting the "spike and crash" all day long. I find starting my day with protein, fat, and fiber makes all the difference.
Psychology is so important. She was smart not to forbid foods, because when you "can't" have something, that's all you want, and will power can only take you so far.
Thanks for sharing your story, Tim!