Fighting Back Against Genetically Modified Farmers
Frankenfarmers are growing your food
Hello readers,
Today’s post is a humorous piece with unnaturally augmented organisms. Even so, think about where your food comes from, and who is profiting off of it. Is genetic tinkering science fiction? No.
Support the small farmer and buy local organic when you can!
Frankenfarmers Are Growing Your Food
Are you okay with mutant, genetically modified farmers (GMF’s) working the fields?
Do you want to eat produce that’s been contaminated by contact with augmented, unnatural creatures created by big business?
If the answer is no, then now is the time to step up. Help protect natural, organic farmers. Stop supporting the production of these travesties of nature.
Normal Farmers Can’t Compete
Here’s what legacy family farmer Marty Graw has observed. His farm is right next to an agricultural business that popped up using the new factory farmers. They are pushing the normal farmers out fast.
“We’ve got no chance against these guys. They’re faster, stronger, and never complain no matter how hard the corporation pushes them. And to top it off, they’re disease and pestilence-resistant!”
Modifications he claims to have seen on these Frankenfarmers include extra arms, unnatural hair colors, and bigger muscles. He thinks their heads are smaller too.
“The company don’t want them thinkin’ much, I guess,” Graw claimed.
The industry wouldn’t answer our questions
When we approached one of the largest agricultural companies and asked them about Frankenfarmers, they refused to talk about it.
They called the topic “ridiculous and far-fetched” as they forcibly removed us from the property. It just confirmed our suspicions.
This proves they have something to hide.
How to Spot a GMF
Look for unusual things about your farmers. If you see colored hair or extra limbs, it’s a sure bet that they’ve been modified by corporations in one of their top-secret facilities.
Other telltale signs that a farmer has undergone extensive genetic tinkering in a lab and is now a GMF:
Drinks herbicide instead of coffee
Has a bar code on their body
Only eats processed GMO foods like boxed mac and cheese, Doritos, or Beyond Burgers
Lives in a crate right out in the field and goes straight to work at 5:00 AM
Wears long sleeves and pants to cover up where their body parts were stitched together
What happens if we let big box farming corporations pull this off? We won’t recognize our countryside. And real food will be a thing of the past.
Expect to drive past fields worked by four armed freaks with blue hair and massive muscles. Their tiny heads and empty brains will never let them question their master corporation’s orders as they grow genetically modified produce that gets shipped directly to the factory.
Genetically Modified Farmers (GMF’s) will take over rural America and put all non-mutant farmers out of a job. Let’s stand up for the little guy. Don’t let big business replace your farmer with a lab freak. Only buy non-GMF foods.
It’s up to you. Vote with your dollars today.
I noticed recently on a trip in Switzerland and Italy that consuming wheat-products (bread, pastries), I did not feel bloated. In fact, I didn't feel any digestive discomforts. Makes me wonder what the heck they do to wheat here in North America.
Great piece!! A little gallows humor, but nonetheless true!